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Marcelo Motta Diary Entry Tuesday, 18 April 1972
Liber CCXXXI: A PERSONAL RESEARCH
About 11.50 L.T. [Local Time} of the
17th, but actually already April 18: Start preparations to
invoke Geni of Carcer of
11.55: Start. 0.10: finish. The gist of the Message seems to be this: that for ART I must concentrate on the Arrow aspect—the Direction of the Will. I must practice the sex act a lot, until the necessary muscular knowledge sinks into the unconscious and I can concentrate on the will—the Bud-Will. It is a lot like Judo.[1] I must fuck a lot, and pass onto the creeks and that after. When one loses taste for sex—that's when concentration of the Will can safely begin. (Note: this insight—if it is such—acquired after closing. It may be wrong, due to the influence of cannabis, and should be questioned when the mind is back to normal. If correct, a most valuable clue.)
Note, further on: The relationship, seemingly un-Thelemic at first, is in LXV: " . . . almost I cast myself into the stream." The key-word is almost. Actually, he persisted. (Perdurabo! . . .) This passage must be attributed to the sex act. Since the chapter refers to mind, this "exhaustion" or ennui or satiety may not be of the body—lust of the mind? Until you achieve the Great Work with each woman, can you really say you have "satisfied yourself" of her? . . .
1—We know an ex-Neophyte, a woman, who once confided to us that she had felt absolutely revolted by A.C.'s [Aleister Crowley] statement that sexual technique should be regarded as a branch of athletics. He was talking, of course, for men; on the physical plane, women, if they want, can just lie back (or adopt whatever position they may prefer!) and enjoy. What this woman did dislike was the idea that a man, instead of wallowing in the Lower Nephesch as she undoubtedly liked to do, might be trying to concentrate his Linga-Sharira into becoming an apt instrument of his Buddhi-Manas, or even of his Buddhi itself! This woman has since robbed the Order of many precious manuscripts, and tried to set herself up as an O.T.O. representative without a proper Warrant.
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