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Marcelo Motta Diary Entry Friday, 11 July 1969
Liber CCXXXI: A PERSONAL RESEARCH
Begin 0.07am, finished 0.20am. Invoked Geni of Capricorn—apparently with no success. Once, the Seal fell from my head half out of the straw carpet. The other time, just now, it fell straight forward.
Had several visions—Right at beginning, going down a corridor with strange walls (not very distinguishable) at the end of which an opening—a lake, very brilliant, with a white something. I travelled to it and then it came to me that this was what is written in LXV: "Thou art like a lonely pillar in the midst of the sea", etc. So I went up, and among the stars, trying to travel to one of them; but this was impossible, for I am one of them. I cannot travel to any; I have my own orbit. "I am alone; there is no God where I am." (This is coming to me now; at the time of the vision I was a little impatient, realizing the trip is without end.)[1]
So I tried again, and this time travelled towards what seemed like a city. I don't remember very well what happened next, but I remember rising up, going through an obstacle and being under the Starry Sky—the Vault of Her Body.[2] I was still looking for the Geni. A very odd creature, like a serpent somewhat, but with a horse's (?) head bowed before me. Finally I gave up and I think then I assumed H-P-K shape. At this moment (?) the Seal fell before me.
All this is very dubious. Anyway, I shall anoint the Seal now.
Just invoked the Second Geni. In a dark corridor, having assumed the Shape of Set, I met an Elephant (and the World Elephant came to mind). I banished it with the Pentagram of Earth, but it kept on advancing until it seemed to mingle with my Set image. It passes on, leaving the Set image somewhat dilapidated. I recomposed it and, turning, told the Elephant: The word of the Law is Θελημα." Then it turned its back on me and went on its way along the corridor. I turned my back (facing my previous direction) and went towards a "clear opening", too late realizing my mistake: I was back in the physical world.
Note: This was all done with my back to Boleskine. It now suddenly occurs to me that an Elephant, being Ganesha, is also a Phallic animal. Will check on this. After checking: can find no relation—no explanation. I have my back to Boleskine because the lamp is that way, and I thought I'd see better. I'll anoint the Seal now. (Note: Oil bottle very hard to open.) Anointing finished at 0.54 pm.
Note: At beginning of entire Ceremony, I felt a perfume that I cannot identify. May it have been jasmine?[3]
1—Please notice the diverse reaction to the same realization that was obtained in the first Vision. It is a different part of the Seer's consciousness that is undergoing the experience, and an obviously less developed (from a mystical point of view, at least) one than the previous. Hence, once more the need for the Structuralization of the Self: any Aspirant only reaches the possibility of "passing on" after he (or she) reaches Tiphereth of the Sephirah (or sub-Sephirah) where one happens to be working at the time. And hence, again, the absolute need to conquer all aversion in oneself; to experience every possible experience. Of course, the possibilities of an Adept in this are limited by one's Oath. This is why Aspirants in the lower grades should always be encouraged (although not ordered, in most cases) to expand their experiences to the utmost. Cf. LXV, i, 45-46, and the Commentaries thereon. 2—From the point of view of Binah (or from the point of view of this Seer—stand warned!) cities, in the Astral Plane, always represent centers of settled thought. Such centers are always useful, in the sense in which fortresses are useful—but must be taken with a grain of salt (again Binah!). 3—The problem yields to hindsight. The Seer instinctively eschewed (and rightly so) any communication under the form of Two; he aspired to Zero, on which Plane he was invoking, anyway. That is to say, he only trusted (instinctively, one might add—he was not mentally aware of his attitude at the time) insights that came up from within. Since he was pitifully underdeveloped in the lower Sheaths, this made for hard work on the part of the Intelligences attempting to communicate. The Elephant was, of course, 666 Himself, warning his pupil not to give himself airs; also, the Seer should have been turned towards Boleskine, since he was invoking from the Plane of Binah, that is, of the Wife. Students should note the subsequent invocations of this same Path.
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