Mary Butts Diary Entry

Saturday, 30 July 1921

Astral journey on very badly done—Mountain tops, black, forming an irregular trough full of fire—The fire spouted up. Above the mountain, standing apparently on a pillar, and surrounded by clouds, a colossal, draped, female figure.

At first I saw one or more crosses on the tops of the mountain. There was another figure of a man, but indistinct.

Then I felt very sleepy and decided to go to sleep, and see if I went on in dreams.

Asleep, I was crossing a field in bright sunlight to go into a green wood. Halfway across the field I met a man, a strong earthy creature, trousers tied up with string, huge boots—He was very stupid, walked straight up to me and passed me, and if he had noticed me would have been malignant. He was working the soil of the field.

Then came a continuous obsession with S. Peter’s at Rome—the courtyard fountains—it was in some way connected with the alchemical vision of the white sea and the blow-hole, and the black rocks.

While I was awake I saw a long arm pointing, and then another arm—It shewed me a woman asleep beside black curtains—There was something glittering about her. She had a white robe on, and she may have been dead.

I see that the whole symbol represents the Great Work. When I try to find my own formula for the great work my mind blows up for an instant and goes blank. I feel that I ‘know,’ but have rationalized nothing, and any formula I have sounds cold, artificial, and childish.

But I do it by yielding, and watching, and balancing.

This afternoon I realized sharply the meaning of that colourless apostrophe—‘’know thyself’ and its great significance was a shock.

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