Charles Stansfeld Jones Diary Entry

Wednesday, 9 October 1912

9.6 P.M. The “state” is getting more and more difficult to describe, in fact I don’t know what to make of it. I might almost say I feel “normal”; and yet there is a subtle difference. There is (I think) an entire absence of fear, worry, disgust, joy, sorrow, pain, or any of the old states, and this seems to be a condition of calm observation without any desire to criticise anything. I suppose, as a matter of fact, it is a state of equilibrium. I think I have it. It is the empty shrine awaiting the in-dwelling of the God.

10 P.M. I experienced another peculiar state just now. Having closed my eyes for a few moments (concentrating), I thought I would try and think backwards over the last few things I had been doing, but found, try as I would, I could not think of things done even a moment before. All was the “present peculiar experience,” and there was no getting away from it. The concentration acted just like a magnet, and became automatic. Again, on trying to look back over this retirement, it appears as a “Single state of consciousness,” not as a number of events. I should really have to read my diary if I wanted to know any details in succession just now.

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